


break

by crystalredlove



Series: So Kiss Me (ChanHan/BangHan/Bang Chan x Jisung one shots) [5]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bang Chan-centric, Chan is sad, Fluff and Angst, Han Jisung | Han is Whipped, I'm projecting onto chan here so much it's not even funny, Light Angst, M/M, and Jisung loves him so much, except I don't have a Jisung to keep me company hahaaaaa, god I'm pathetic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 06:09:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29554722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crystalredlove/pseuds/crystalredlove
Summary: In which the author projects onto chan and wants to cry
Relationships: Bang Chan/Han Jisung | Han
Series: So Kiss Me (ChanHan/BangHan/Bang Chan x Jisung one shots) [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1980230
Comments: 8
Kudos: 28





	break

Chan felt like his body was made of lead. He simply could not muster the energy to get out of bed, at all. His head was cloudy, and his heart felt heavy. Getting up to go to the bathroom was really all he could manage. He hasn't gone to the studio in days. Luckily, the ceo of the company he worked for was 100% understanding, but it didn't ease the guilt in his chest. 

He was just tired. Tired of existing, of breathing, of doing anything. He carries a constant hurt that sits heavy in his chest. Chan's never been able to pinpoint when this hurt began, or even why. He just knows it's been there. Sometimes it's tolerable, sometimes it renders him bed ridden.

Today is one of those days. 

He raises his phone to look at the time, 6:45, and startles when his phone dings with a reminder.

_ Date with Sungie at 7:00pm! 💖 _

Ah shit, he thinks to himself. 

He loves Sungie. He's head over heels for the younger. But he knows he can't really will himself out of bed. So, he calls him to tell him the truth.

Jisung picks up on the first ring.

_ "Hyung!" _ Oh no, that's his excited voice. His heart crumbles as he forces himself up, but tears spring to his eyes.  _ "I'm almost done getting ready! I was about to call you though, are you okay? You haven't been answering my texts today." _ He chuckles, and Chan hums in confusion.  _ "Sorry hyung," _ he continues,  _ "I just realized I haven't really reached out to you in a while either, being that I'm busy with school a lot. So I'm sorry if I sounded hypocriti- hyung, why are you crying?" _ Chan didn't even process that he had started to sniffle. Now that he's aware of it, he can't stop himself from crying even more. "S-Sungie... I don't think I can take you on that date today." He manages to croak out between sobs. Jisung says nothing, and that makes Chan cry harder, if that's even possible. Terrible words come at him with brute force. Telling him he's horrible for putting Jisung's hopes up, only to back out at the last minute. "Sungie, please talk to me..." He mutters, only to be met with silence yet again.

_ Knock knock knock. _

Chan hurries to wipe his tear-streaked face as he slowly makes his way to open the door. 

On the other side is Jisung, all dressed up. He wore very little makeup, rose gold eyeshadow and very subtle eyeliner complimenting the shape of his eyes. He's in black dress pants and a black button up shirt. 

The boy looks stunning, and Chan breaks down again. Jisung whimpers in alarm as he pulls Chan into a tight hug. "Channie-hyung, talk to me..." He whispers into his ear as he holds him close. Chan shakes his head, unable to form words. Luckily, Jisung understands and moves the two of them to sit at the couch. 

The two stay cuddled close together for a while, Chan curled up into a ball on Jisung's lap as the latter plays with his hair.

"It's been a bad couple days." Chan says once he finds the strength to speak. Jisung only keeps playing with his hair, letting Chan continue. "Work's been fine, I'm not worried about rent or being able to afford food this week, I'm just- I'm not feeling all that great, mentally. It's been hard to do anything, I feel so tired all the time, I'm so fucking depressed and everything hurts so much and I feel stupid for letting myself get this bad. I just feel like I can do better, and I know what I can do to improve, I just have no motivation to do anything at all. That's also why I've not really talked to you." Chan's voice grows smaller. "I also didn't wanna trouble you, I know school's been a pain. But yeah, I'm just- I'm not doing so well, Sungie. I'm sorry."

"Oh, hyung..." The younger mutters as he wipes his thumbs across Chan's cheeks to wipe away falling tears. "It's okay. I'm sorry for not trying to message you, or not making an effort to visit." Chan starts to whine in disagreement, but Jisung cuts him off. "So I think we should order in, watch a movie, and just enjoy the night. Besides, I don't have classes tomorrow, and I know tomorrow is your day off! So we can spend all of tomorrow together too! Does that sound okay?" He sounds almost uncertain at the end, and Chan presses a kiss to his cheek in reassurance. "It sounds great. Thank you for being patient with me."

\---

As they lay in bed, buried under Chan's massive blanket collection as Train To Busan plays his TV, Chan looks at a sleeping Jisung on his shoulder and smiles. He feels so lucky to have someone like Jisung. 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if the ending is rushed, I'm just feeling like absolute crap and I wanted to get something out to show that yeah I'm still gonna write on here, I'm just in a weird funk and I'm a lot sadder these days. I feel really lonely and overall just blegh.
> 
> Still taking requests though, and I know one person already requested. If you see this, I promise it's being worked on, I'm sorry it's taking so long. But it'll be up soon!


End file.
